3 Essentials “HOW” Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness
- Honesty
Honesty helps in developing good attributes like kindness, discipline, truthfulness, moral integrity, and more. Lying, cheating, lack of trust, stealing, greed, and other immoral attributes have no part in Honesty. Honest people are sincere, trustworthy, and loyal, throughout their life.
This principle is the “ H “in the HOW of recovery – it answers the first question; How do I get sober?
This card affords you practices for Honesty
1. When you become aware of not being honest in telling the truth:
2. STOP and say “That is not the truth
3. Tell the truth (if it is the other person’s business and you have checked your boundaries in this relationship).
4. Begin TRUTH Telling
5. Cash register honest means the cashier gave you too much or too little change – ask for it or give it back NOW.
6. Honesty means if you say you will do something, Then you do it, this is integrity.
7. Admit when we are wrong. If you become defensive then we are not listening or understanding.
It is better to try to understand than to be understood.
2. Openmindedness
Open-mindedness (the O in HOW)
Being open-minded means seeking knowledge and even allowing yourself to be persuaded by someone else’s viewpoints instead of always wanting to be right. A person in recovery needs to allow themselves to be challenged by new ideas, different points of view and new experiences because these lead to change and growth
The skill is to remember you have choices
That if you see only one solution there are many more that we can’t see. Become an option thinker.
Ask others what they think. Find people with different perspectives listen ponder.
If you find yourself becoming defensive, Ask yourself “do I want to be right? Or happy?”
1. Check your attitude – the choice to be loving- look at your Intentions. When someone presents you with a suggestion or idea that is different than your own, try not to dismiss them immediately. Accept that they simply want to present their thoughts with the best of intentions and that there is no agenda other than wanting to share their ideas with you. 2. Be an Active Listener. Instead of being on the defense, or discounting their point of view, open your mind and hear them out.
3. Critique Your Past Assumptions with an Open Mind.
4. Review your beliefs and biases honestly. In recovery,
5. Old ways of thinking may be harmful to you.
6. Let Go- As hard as it is to do, giving up control and allowing yourself to be exposed to our way of thinking and behaving is freeing. We have nothing to lose by opening our minds and considering options.
3. Willingness
Willingness is the ”W” in ”How ”we get and stay sober.
The quality or state of being prepared to do something; readiness. willingness to succeed.
How do you practice willingness? We commit to doing the next right thing then we do it- it requires courage, and faith we must ask for help. Accountability.
What are some steps to practice Willingness?
- Don’t judge yourself for practicing Willfulness- get into action by:
- Remember, Willingness is about accepting what is. …FACT FINDING FACT FACING
- Think about Willingness. …what is it I Want? Recovery or addiction? Make the choice. What do I really, really want?
- What is my level of commitment to this? 5 % 50% 70% 100%?
- Say out loud – Yes I will do it I will stay clean and sober just for today –
Then do it. Call someone- tell on yourself- ask for help- go to a fellowship meeting.